That was the night! I invited Sarah, my longtime partner, to a quaint fancy restaurant in Fells Point, Baltimore.
A young, good-looking waitress soon popped up, saying, “Hi, I’m Judith; how are you tonight?”
If she were really interested, I would have given her a more comprehensive answer about my complicated emotional situation, but my reply was formal: “Thanks, Judith. I’m fine.” Sarah just smiled friendly.
After a short while, the extra-caring waitress brought the menu and uttered some silly, useless statements unrelated to the menu. Although Judith was always around and we could not get rid of her, Sarah and I had the most delicious seafood and a couple of expensive glasses of white wine, which drove me a little tipsy. They came after a frozen margarita we drank as an aperitif. I needed some drinks to get confident for an (allegedly) once-in-a-lifetime event. During dinner, we talked about the hind legs of a donkey. Never stop complimenting each other about how good the last two years have been since we began dating. We recalled our incredible time together and listed each other’s best traits. Smiling with indulgent glances, we also returned on some minor arguments, misunderstandings, and uncertainties we promptly dismissed. The atmosphere was perfect, and I congratulated myself on the proper choice of the restaurant and how I was managing the situation. She probably expected what I would say, but I didn’t dare to get to the point. I’m introverted, and proposing to your partner isn’t easy for anyone. Eventually, I started approaching the matter:
“Sarah, we’ve been dating for two years now…”
“How do you like your food?” the waitress interrupted my preliminary statements.
“Delicious,” we said contemporarily and knowingly laughed at that young lady’s ill-timed meddling. We were both bashful, and I needed a little time to resume my train of thought and reconnect with my speech.
“So, I was saying that it’s time for us…”
“Do you need some more water?” the waitress asked, appearing on the scene more unexpectedly than an apparition of Our Lady.
“We’re fine, thanks… or maybe you want some?” I politely asked Sarah, who kindly refused.
“Well, perhaps I get some, please…” I needed to drink, being tongue-tied.
Sarah remained silent to give me all the time I needed to utter my crucial announcement, which she had been waiting for a long time. I continued: “Honey, I have simple goals, but focus on them. One of them is…”
“Is everything all right? May I help you with something?” the out-of-place and ill-timed waitress could not refrain from interfering. I tried to cool off and gently asked Sarah if she was ready for the dessert. Sarah was becoming anxious to get to the now-obvious outcome of my speech and refused hastily. Thus, I went on:
“… now, darling, I think our relationship is mature for a step forward…”
“We’ve been so glad to have you here and hope you enjoyed your meal; the cook would like to receive your comments; may I call him here?”
“We’d be delighted to congratulate him, aren’t we, Sarah?”
“Of course,” she mumbled, thoroughly unconvinced.
After talking with the French cook and another series of Judith’s intrusions, which regarded several topics ranging from the restaurant property to the weather, politics to children’s education, I gave up. Instead of proposing, I postponed to another occasion. Sarah was clearly upset; she excused herself, and off she went to the ladies’ room.
The bitch-waitress didn’t give me a break and, even while alone, dropped in, asking: “Is there something else I can do for you?”
“Oh yes, when does your shift end?” said I.
“In an hour, why are you asking me?” she frowned.
“Do you have plans for the night?”
“Not really… “
“So, let me drive my fiancé home, and let’s meet in an hour in front of the restaurant. I badly want to get laid tonight…”
“All right, thanks for choosing our restaurant”!
